1 Corinthians 9:5
Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas?
When Paul was talking about his rights, he said he had the right to marry a believing wife [in other words a disciple] like other apostles did.
The understanding in the NT church was that ‘the disciples married true disciples only.” Why was that a conviction?
It is because in the NT church the church and the world was so different that they did not even consider in their hearts or minds about marrying someone else outside the church. Amen!
Where is our conviction? People with less conviction of the truth are tempted to look outside and marry outside.
Our conviction should be like that of the NT church.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an
16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my
17 “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive
18 “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
It says disciples and non-disciples have nothing in common!
Have convictions about who is saved and who is lost.
Are we ready to bow down to an idol to get married?
Are we ready to go back to our old dead traditions to get married?
Are we ready to please men to disobey God? Where are your convictions?
1 Corinthians 7:10-17
10 NIV) To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
11 NIV) But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12 NIV) To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 NIV) And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
14 NIV) For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 NIV) But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
16 NIV) How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 NIV) Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
Also 1 Cor 7 is a passage about marriage. In it Paul gives us a lot of instructions about marriage. This passage implies to marry only TRUE BELIEVERS.
Because it give a lot of instructions to people who before being a Christian were married to a non-believer, what to do?
From this passage it is very clear - SAVED DISCIPLES MARRIED SAVED DISCIPLES, SAVED BELIEVER MARRIED ONLY SAVED BELIEVERS. Amen!
Hence our conviction to marry only disciples.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
In the Old Testament God gave specific instructions to the Chosen people, the Israelites, whom to marry and not to marry?
There was a reason for that, as we can understand from reading the following passages.
Let us read and understand Gods plan for our lives regarding marriage.
I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living,
[Abraham advises his servant about his son Isacc]
So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him and commanded him: “Do not marry a Canaanite woman.
[Isaac has same convictions for his son Jacob]
1 When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out
before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites,
seven nations larger and stronger than you—
2 and when the LORD your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must
destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.
3 Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons,
4 for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn
against you and will quickly destroy you.
5 This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their
Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire.
6 For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples
on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.
11 So be very careful to love the LORD your God.
12 “But if you turn away and ally yourselves with the survivors of these nations that remain among you and if you intermarry with them and associate with them,
13 then you may be sure that the LORD your God will no longer drive out these nations before you. Instead, they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the LORD your God has given you.
12 Therefore, do not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. Do not seek a treaty of friendship with them at any time, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it to your children as an everlasting inheritance.’
13 “What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins have deserved and have given us a remnant like this.
14 Shall we again break your commands and intermarry with the peoples who commit such detestable practices? Would you not be angry enough with us to destroy us, leaving us no remnant or survivor?
25 I rebuked them and called curses down on them. I beat some of the men and pulled out their hair. I made them take an oath in God’s name and said: “You are not to give your daughters in marriage to their sons, nor are you to take their daughters in marriage for your sons or for yourselves.
26 Was it not because of marriages like these that Solomon king of Israel sinned? Among the many nations there was no king like him. He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, but even he was led into sin by foreign women.
27 Must we hear now that you too are doing all this terrible wickedness and are being unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women?”
6 commandments to follow IN GETTING READY FOR MARRIAGE or FINDING A PARTNER
1. Thou Shall Take Advice
Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.
The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
DO NOT BE INDEPENDENT, TAKE ADVICE
TAKE ADVISE – about our life & marriage
TAKE HELP/BE OPEN FOR HELP – immediately about our problems in our marriage. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about your worries, insecurities and your heart to your discipler regarding your marriage.
2. Thou Shall Not Look At Outward Appearance
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes,
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
You will never find a perfect partner, why? Look at yourself in the mirror.
- You are not perfect and so you will never find someone perfect.
- You have to make adjustments in life
- You have to make changes in life
- You have to learn to appreciate the spiritual qualities in other partner rather than just focussed on the negatives.
- You should have a Godly attitude towards marriage. Not “filmy”or not some preconceived ideas.
Be ready to change your expectations if they are worldly.
Don’t look in your partner for worldly things – beauty, family wealth, how much is she worth financially, can she earn money for me.
Look for spiritual qualities mainly.
Don’t make emotional decisions – I’ll only marry this person, make that person marry me, why he/she can’t marry me, you are not the only person to decide that.
Don’t get offended or discouraged when the person you like does not respond positively. You got to learn to face rejection with a good humble, healthy attitude.
3. Thou Shall Not Be Greedy
MONEY – CAN I BENEFIT FINANCIALLY FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP
NO DOWRY IN THE CHURCH – because it is a social evil, encourages greed and produces strain in girls family and God does not bless you because of that.
Money gained by greed always vanishes. Amen!
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust,
evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.
7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
4. Thou Shall Not Have Secret Meetings
No SECRET NOTES AND PASSES / SECRET DEALS
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 Timothy 4:12
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
No secret drops/visiting families/calls/walking together/going to places together. All these rules are there to protect you and not to burden you.
5. Thou Shall Not Be Anxious
DONT PANIC AND MAKE EMOTIONAL / WRONG DECISIONS – TRUST GOD
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
1 Peter 5:7-8
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Don’t get panicky about your marriage. Trust God.
When others are having marriage problem, don’t get insecure – Trust
When others are getting married ahead of you don’t loose confidence.
When the person you liked is not interested in you don’t get bitter and negative or jealous.
Don’t look at bad examples and get insecure. There are lots of good examples to look at and learn from regarding our marred life.
6. Thou Shall Plan Ahead For Marriage
But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.
All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.
But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.
Plan for a New House away from our parents
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Plan Marriage Expenses